things that really bother me

i'm well aware of my personality. i'm neither friendly nor sweet, and little cartoon birds don't follow me around dropping petals in my wake. i know that i should be less irritable, but quite honestly, that would require effort on my part. so, instead, i'm listing things that really bother the hell out of me for no apparent reason.

1. i like to use that little "next blog" button to see what other people have to say about their own pathetic lives, but i hate seeing a blog that still has unedited links. take the time to edit the links, or at least remove them. you're already sitting in front of the computer being a total drain on society. use your delete button. sheesh.

2. i hate when people say they 'conversated' with someone else. you don't 'conversate.' you converse when you hold a conversation. it's like imagine. you don't 'imaginate' when you have an imagination. people who employ this travesty of the English language should be deported to Canada. no one pays attention to what Canadians say so you can pretty much speak however you wish.

3. i can't stand it when people assume i will become a teacher when they hear that i am an English major. to make matters worse, these people are dumbfounded when i curtly reply that, no, i will not become a teacher. fyi: studying English does not limit my future to chalk inhalation and poverty. see for yourself.

4. i loathe public restrooms. i will subject myself to possible kidney failure, bladder bursts, and sepsis just to avoid entering these portals of hell.

5. I cannot stand pencils. yes, i do my math in pen. pencils are to pens what kazoos are to violins. they are obtuse and spew forth hideousness. when i am empress of the galaxy, i will outlaw pencils so start preparing for when that time comes. it draws nigh.