conversation of the day

i left work around 7:30 (after i finished watching The Real World: The Gauntlet II.) it's dark outside by then. well, for those of you who don't know, i'm a little night blind. so, on my way to visit my mom, i'm waiting to turn down her street, and this asshole gets out of the car behind me and knocks on my window.

me: yes?

asshole: are you okay?

me: yes. why?

asshole: you've been here a long time, and you haven't turned. there's been plenty of chances.

me: look, you asshole. i suffer from night blindness. i have trouble judging distances. i want to make sure i have enough room to turn because my Honda is worth more to me than your fucking time you piece of shit.

then i left him standing there while i turned.

when i got to my mom's house she asked me if i had seen my dad because he was on the way home from the grocery store. i told her i left him standing in the middle of the road.

just kidding. April Fool's. had you going, didn't i?