random news

-an elephant can speak in a human voice and utter basic words. it's unknown if he understands the words, however. i believe this skill qualifies him to attend Texas Tech.

-a Swiss driver who was caught speeding said he was enjoying a lack of goats in the road. apparently that's a problem in his home country. why, i enjoy a lack of goats everyday, too.

-this news item is almost too horrifying to post. if you have a stomach of steel, click on the link and look at the picture. who is that ugly woman? i can't even type it. it's that horrible.