beam me up, Scotty

where the hell is my transporter? why am i not being ripped apart molecule by molecule, flown across time and space, and then reassembled at a determined location? because if i have to share any more road space with ignorant buffoons who don't know the purpose of a blinker, a turning lane, a four way stop, or simple traffic signs, i think i am going to send my weasels to attack school and start using them as a weapon.