things i need to do before i leave town

1. lose six hundred pounds. it will be hard to do, especially with MickeyDs and their scrumptious spicy chicken sammich, but i think i can do it.

2. decide on whether i am buying slutty or classy lingerie for my friend's bachlorette party. maybe i'll just get her a two dollar box of plastic wrap. she's hot so she can pull it off.

3. pack forty pieces of luggage for two and a half days of possible scenarios. 38 of those pieces will be designated for shoes only.

4. charge my laptop, my cell, my iPod, my digital camera, my portable DVD player, my video camera, my chargeable batteries... if it wasn't for my weasels, my housesitter would have nothing left to sit.

5. eat a snack.

6. beat my liver into submission. i don't know that i can handle two straight nights of heavy drinking anymore. i'm such a wuss.

7. tidy the Maxi pad. it's a wreck. i hate coming home to a dirty apartment.

8. make 600 sammiches for the road trip. i need something to tide me over between Jack in the Crack stops.

9. start at least one of the two major papers i have due immediately after returning. who am i kidding? i embrace my procrastinating personality.

10. burn some discs for the trip. with the tunes and the sammiches, it'll be like a party on wheels.