Saturday, May 27, 2006

it takes an act of God to see a freakin' movie in this town.

well i went to go see the mutants last night, but things in this crummy little town are always jacked. the bitter half and i arrive at the theater an hour early to ensure prime seats for our viewing pleasure. right as we pull into an unusually good parking spot, a guy walks up to b.h.'s window. if it had been my window, i would have ignored the movie-goer, but seeing as how b.h. is not as disgusted by people as i am, he sees what the guy wants. apparently, the movie theater lost power and kicked everyone out (some in mid-movie.) wtf?!?! i want to see some mutants, dammit! there's no estimated time of repair. we decide to go get some dessert and then try again later. upon our return, there is still no power. i must see this movie because i will be busy for the next few days. (tangerine dream's incessant gloating via text message about already seeing the movie isn't helping matters.) we stick around until we see some dim flickers of light and then make a bee line for the front entrance. this theater is run by a bunch of yahoos who can't tell the mob waiting outside if the they're even going to let anyone back in for the evening. so we wait. we chit chat with other movie goers and make friends with a Lubbsuck cop. (he's actually pretty cool and encouraging mob mentality due to the lack of free popcorn in such a crisis.) about a millennium later, we're allowed into the theater so bitter half and i trade our early tickets for late ones. the previews are almost over and the movie is almost starting when the damn power goes out again. wtf?!?! we wait. a minimum wage movie worker orders us to exit because no one knows when this damn theater is getting its shit together. we don't leave because we're tired of fighting crowds. when the theater is empty, the power starts back up. it's like we're in some sadistic science experiment. people are running back in to get seated, and the trailers are showing again. it's now eleven o'clock. the previews stop and a weird Microsoft screen pops up. again, a bunch of dumbasses leave, but we are patient. we know the mutants are coming. sure enough, it starts and the morons who left are filing back in. fuckers. we finally see the movie. it was okay.


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