my dumbass goals for the next 50 days:

1. go to the gym nonstop and diet excessively in order to pass for an anorexic waif by my Vegas trip. why? because when i was in Dallas last month i saw a pair of Guess jeans that i must buy, but in my mind's eye, they will only look good on a skeleton. i have not divulged my plans to the bitter half because he hates the starved look and prefers a curvy woman, but when have i ever cared what bitter half likes anyway?

2. try to control my ridiculous spending so i can just take empty suitcases to Vegas and bring them back full of brand spankin' new stuff. this goal may be harder to achieve because i have tuition due, the trip to pay for, and no sense of self control.

3. try not to kill myself when my classes start back up in July.

4. get a storage unit for all my shit because my apartment is about 5'x 5', and i refuse to move until i graduate and buy an unnecessarily humongous house.

5. hit my 10,000th blog visitor milestone. i don't really give a rat's ass about this goal, but i wanted an even five.