Tuesday, June 13, 2006

i'm divulging secrets about myself.

1. i've been attacked by pepper spray- the story isn't full of intrigue or suspense so i'll skip it, but let me say just say that this instance is the only time in my life when i felt like i was dying. (i've probably been closer to dying many other times, but i was too incoherent to realize it.)

2. as a teenager, my skin was clear and required no maintenance- (i literally used bar soap once a day as my facial regimen.) now that i'm old and borderline senile, i wake up with crops of zits on my face. wtf?!?! it's like i'm a fucking high schooler or something.

3. i like to make up outlandish stories when talking to strangers- if you read my blog regularly, you know i hate idle chit chat with assholes i don't know. in order to amuse myself, i sometimes tell these people weird things which include but are not limited to: giving them false (and sometimes ridiculous) names, speaking in obviously fake foreign accents, pretending i don't understand English (when i just finished speaking it on the phone), etc. the examples are endless.

4. the only food i really dislike is squash- i'm not sure why the squash is the target of my hatred, but it is. and i'm not a picky eater. i've eaten snails and oysters and store-bought fruit cake. i like to live on the edge.

5. i'm a little terrified of cows- as a kid, Tangerine Dream and i tried to pet one that was innocently standing by the door to our dad's work. they try to trick you with their big, cow eyes and long luscious lashes, but underneath that dopey exterior lies a savage beast. when it started chasing us, T.D. and i started running and screaming like little girls. (to be fair, i was a little girl, but i can't say the same for the older brother...) the fact that T.D. didn't even look back to see if i was okay only added to the trauma.

2 Comments:

Blogger WhatIGotSoFar said...

i've been attacked by pepper spray- the story isn't full of intrigue or suspense so i'll skip it, but let me say just say that this instance is the only time in my life when i felt like i was dying.
That is exactly how I describe my incident of being pepper sprayed

6/14/2006 01:18:00 PM  
Blogger christine said...

yeah, but did your incident take place in a Wal-mart?

6/15/2006 02:42:00 PM  

Post a Comment

Links to this post:

Create a Link

<< Home

back to top (you lazy bastard)