random shit

-my downstairs neighbor, Crotchtastic, is moving. it sucks because he lets me stomp around like a demented serial killer. plus, he never reports me for busting out the neighborhood's eardrums with my loud music. i hope he doesn't get replaced with some rickety old lady who beats the ceiling with her cane everytime i hiccup.

-i told Bitter Half that i wanted a digital video camera so i can offend people with homemade movies. he said he'd get me one if i promised to occasionally go record him when he plays girl disc golf. i asked him how may times a year i had to suffer through that experience, and he said, "two." i enthusiastically agreed to which he said, "damn it. i should have started higher." sucker!

-i just told my coworker he needs to bring homemade breakfast tomorrow morning. i placed an order for pancakes in the shape of famous buildings such as the Eiffel Tower, the Taj Majal, and the Louvre. breakfast should be the most inspiring meal of the day, if you ask me.

-my heart is racing, my palms are sweaty, and it sounds like i have Turret's. and yet i'm still considering drinking more coffee today. i hope i don't have to call 911.

-i dreamt i was preggo last night. of course i also dreamt i was in a futuristic society where people used high speed trains to zip around in an overpopulated world so don't read too much into it.