random news

-apparently downtown Austin was shut down when a bunch of dead birds were found in the streets. hazmat teams were sent in to investigate, but nothing suspicious was found in the air. some birds are being sent off to be tested. i can tell you the problem. there is an invisible spaceship hovering over the area and the birds are slamming into it, a la Signs. at first, i thought my theory was oulandish, but when i told B.H. about the bird problem, he suggested the same thing. we are geniuses so i'm pretty sure we're right.

-Angelina Jolie is being depicted as the Virgin Mary in a new painting by Kate Kretz. even more strange, she's hovering over Wal-mart on little fluffy clouds. quite honestly, i find the shoppers more disturbing than anything else.