ketchup

- i rescued a squirrel. a cat had it dangling from its mouth. i thought it was dead, but then i saw him looking around. i stomped over and made the cat release it. i'm not sure why. the cat needed to eat, i'm sure. but i felt bad with a giant animal picking on a little one. i guess Squirrly was wounded cause he couldn't run well. he tried to scamper up a tree but the cat kept catching him so i chased the cat away. i had to go though. unlike the nature channel, i couldn't fast forward, and i needed a Wendy's baked potato. when i left, the cat was stalking the squirrel in the tree. so i'm sure the cat ended up eating it. in reality, then, i didn't rescue a squirrel. i dragged out it's violent death.

- if you're dumb enough to temporarily abandon your shopping cart and it's two days before Christmas so shopping carts are worth their weight in gold, then you deserve two women laughing in your face as they wheel it away. we don't feel bad. we feel smart.

- i'm having trouble censoring myself. i'm generally a very blunt person as it is, but here lately, i've got no self control. i almost punched a guy in the throat earlier because i couldn't stand his ugly face. i hope i'm not in the clink for the holidays.