Sunday, July 23, 2006

Michael Corleone vs. George Costanza

for my next assignment in my How to Make an Ass of Yourself in Public 2300 class, i have to write and give a speech of praise and tribute. i've thought long and hard about to whom i should dedicate my time. should i try one of the parental units who shaped and molded me into the vision of perfection that i am today? or, maybe i should address one of the siblings who make me laugh almost as much as i do. there's always bitter half, but i already gave him a half assed mention in my introductory speech. then i thought of Michael Corleone*- the biggest, baddest mafia mo fo around. when i had almost committed to writing about him, i thought of George Costanza- the epitome of selfishness and slothfulness and my all time role model. now i'm in a conundrum. being a list maker, i thought i'd come up with some reasons for each:

Michael- intelligent and savvy in a cruel and intimidating way
George- semi-smart and uncouth in a total disregard for other's opinions kind of way

Michael- places everyone including family on his "enemies/hit" list
George- places only himself on his "people that matter" list

Michael- sets goals such as mob and business domination
George- sets goals such as eating blocks of cheese in his underwear

Michael- had a father who tried to balance the welfare of his family with mafia demands
George- had a father with man boobs

Michael- would not talk business with his wife
George- killed his would be wife by buying cheap envelopes with poisonous glue

Michael- lived a grandiose life as leader of the Cosa Nostra
George- lived pretend grandiose lives as an architect and marine biologist

Michael- died alone and weak
George- lived with his parents

Michael- is a devout Catholic
George- converted to Latvian Orthodoxy to keep a girlfriend

Michael- is sometimes referred to as "the godfather" out of respect
George- sometimes referred to himself as Art Vandalay out of deceit

it's still a toss up so i'll probably decide at the last minute. it might come down to what mood i'm in tomorrow morning.

*when i asked bitter half to guess whom i was thinking of paying tribute, he tilted his head, squinted his eyes, and thought for about 5 seconds. then he said, "Michael Corleone?" am i getting predictable, or does he actually pay attention to me?


Blogger Evolution of gina said...

Good post.

To answer your question: both. Of course men only grasp predictability, so you are becoming predictable enough so that your man is getting you by haphazardly paying attention to you.

Coulda been a fluke, though. He IS a man.

Gonna go sop up some more soap.

7/24/2006 04:40:00 AM  
Blogger Evolution of gina said...

P.S. Saw you through Funny stuff. I've got you in my bookmarks.

7/24/2006 04:46:00 AM  
Blogger christine said...

evolution of gina- so true! thanx for the bookmark.

7/24/2006 10:02:00 PM  
Blogger carrie said...

cute and quite thorough

7/25/2006 04:01:00 PM  
Blogger Becky said...

It's a tough call, but I'd probably have to go with Michael, just on the fact that George eats food out of the garbage.

Came by way of Dawn.

7/25/2006 05:12:00 PM  

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