Michael Corleone vs. George Costanza
for my next assignment in my How to Make an Ass of Yourself in Public 2300 class, i have to write and give a speech of praise and tribute. i've thought long and hard about to whom i should dedicate my time. should i try one of the parental units who shaped and molded me into the vision of perfection that i am today? or, maybe i should address one of the siblings who make me laugh almost as much as i do. there's always bitter half, but i already gave him a half assed mention in my introductory speech. then i thought of Michael Corleone*- the biggest, baddest mafia mo fo around. when i had almost committed to writing about him, i thought of George Costanza- the epitome of selfishness and slothfulness and my all time role model. now i'm in a conundrum. being a list maker, i thought i'd come up with some reasons for each:
Michael- intelligent and savvy in a cruel and intimidating way
George- semi-smart and uncouth in a total disregard for other's opinions kind of way
Michael- places everyone including family on his "enemies/hit" list
George- places only himself on his "people that matter" list
Michael- sets goals such as mob and business domination
George- sets goals such as eating blocks of cheese in his underwear
Michael- had a father who tried to balance the welfare of his family with mafia demands
George- had a father with man boobs
Michael- would not talk business with his wife
George- killed his would be wife by buying cheap envelopes with poisonous glue
Michael- lived a grandiose life as leader of the Cosa Nostra
George- lived pretend grandiose lives as an architect and marine biologist
Michael- died alone and weak
George- lived with his parents
Michael- is a devout Catholic
George- converted to Latvian Orthodoxy to keep a girlfriend
Michael- is sometimes referred to as "the godfather" out of respect
George- sometimes referred to himself as Art Vandalay out of deceit
it's still a toss up so i'll probably decide at the last minute. it might come down to what mood i'm in tomorrow morning.
*when i asked bitter half to guess whom i was thinking of paying tribute, he tilted his head, squinted his eyes, and thought for about 5 seconds. then he said, "Michael Corleone?" am i getting predictable, or does he actually pay attention to me?
Michael- intelligent and savvy in a cruel and intimidating way
George- semi-smart and uncouth in a total disregard for other's opinions kind of way
Michael- places everyone including family on his "enemies/hit" list
George- places only himself on his "people that matter" list
Michael- sets goals such as mob and business domination
George- sets goals such as eating blocks of cheese in his underwear
Michael- had a father who tried to balance the welfare of his family with mafia demands
George- had a father with man boobs
Michael- would not talk business with his wife
George- killed his would be wife by buying cheap envelopes with poisonous glue
Michael- lived a grandiose life as leader of the Cosa Nostra
George- lived pretend grandiose lives as an architect and marine biologist
Michael- died alone and weak
George- lived with his parents
Michael- is a devout Catholic
George- converted to Latvian Orthodoxy to keep a girlfriend
Michael- is sometimes referred to as "the godfather" out of respect
George- sometimes referred to himself as Art Vandalay out of deceit
it's still a toss up so i'll probably decide at the last minute. it might come down to what mood i'm in tomorrow morning.
*when i asked bitter half to guess whom i was thinking of paying tribute, he tilted his head, squinted his eyes, and thought for about 5 seconds. then he said, "Michael Corleone?" am i getting predictable, or does he actually pay attention to me?
posted by christine on Sunday, July 23, 2006
5 Comments:
Good post.
To answer your question: both. Of course men only grasp predictability, so you are becoming predictable enough so that your man is getting you by haphazardly paying attention to you.
Coulda been a fluke, though. He IS a man.
Gonna go sop up some more soap.
P.S. Saw you through Slightlydrunk.com. Funny stuff. I've got you in my bookmarks.
evolution of gina- so true! thanx for the bookmark.
cute and quite thorough
It's a tough call, but I'd probably have to go with Michael, just on the fact that George eats food out of the garbage.
Came by way of Dawn.
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