my friend went to heaven, and all i got was this lousy t-shirt.

here's a website run by atheists that promises to deliver messages to people that have been left behind after the rapture. you simply write down "told you so!" or some equally important message, and it will be hand delivered to your loved ones once you're gone. the highlight of this particular service is that, since everyone working there is an atheist, they will surely be here post-rapture to ensure that your letters are safely delivered. genius! (be sure to check out the "God Hates FAQ" and merchandise sections, too.)

The Post-Rapture Post: The Postal Service of the Saved