Wednesday, November 28, 2007

the ideal mate

remember i said i was going to post my ideal mate so that you guys could hook me up with potential boyfriends? well here goes. now, it will come off as shallow and nit-picky, but remember that this is my ideal mate. i'm flexible on all counts except for a couple which i will clearly state. so here goes...

Physical Traits
- i am naturally attracted to really thin guys. toned is okay but overly muscular is a turn off. i like dark hair. height doesn't really matter to me.

- the douche bag must be intelligent. this trait is imperative. i don't like dumb people. seriously. also, i'm a little moody and mean. so if this guy cries like a little girl when someone calls him a diarrhea face or something of that nature, just forget it. i'm also high strung which means i need someone laid back. i like schedules and abhor change. but i admire people who are the opposite. i'd like someone who is read up on current events. political affiliations don't matter. people that know me are surprised at how liberal i am, and people who don't know me are surprised at how conservative i am so i guess you could say i am middle of the road depending on the issue. i'd love a reader. someone who could discuss books with me. someone who likes to hang out at coffee houses, watch movies, watch some TV, go dancing at clubs, and doesn't do drugs. i love to travel and am going to Madrid next year. maybe i will have someone to go with me by then. i love all types of music with my main loves being electronic and classical so something similar would be nice. i love going to shows and hearing live music. i never get tired of doing it. i often wear crazy clothes, funky colored hair, and do obnoxious things so anyone who embarrasses too easily can just forget it. my family is a nightmare so if this person scares easily, they can just go away. i would love a jogging and/or gym buddy. i can't cook so if this man can, that's bonus points. (i can bake a mean cheesecake, though.) and i'm great with managing finances and all that hum drum stuff, but i'm not so good with fixing things. so if someone could handle those problems, then great. if you're a smoker, then you'd better meet a lot of the other criteria. social smoking is fine. i get up early just about every day, but i'm not a morning person. i'd like a night owl like myself.

(you'd think i wouldn't need to include this category, but you'd be surprised.)
-i like people who bathe. i'm also a teeth freak. while i don't expect everyone to get theirs professionally cleaned every other day like myself, i do expect daily brushings. (guys, if you're complaining that you're not getting laid enough, check your breath and teeth hygiene. trust me. it'll do wonders.)

Work Ethic
-i am a hard worker and would like a hard worker. if this man's had the same job for a long time, bonus points for him. i was raised that a man should take care of his family and not be a lazy bastard who shops on the internet all day long. (income is not important.)

-i love animals but am allergic to everything. no indoor cats or long haired dogs.

-i really think i want a baby. i went by the nursery yesterday, and the tiny babies are so cute! so if this man already has kids, great. (i know you'd think i'd be a lousy mother, but on the contrary, i'm quite good at it. i have much more patience with children who are learning the ropes than with adults who should know better.) so anyone who wants to be my baby daddy, call me!

i almost forgot! i'm not leaving Texas for anyone but Matt Damon so they must be willing to relocate or already live here.


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