Wednesday, November 16, 2005

$@!*#$*&!

once again the braniacs at Texas Tech amazed me with their intelligence and superior problem solving skills. let me explain. there are Citibuses that transport our lazy asses from parking lots to campus and from building to building on campus. there is, at least i thought, an understanding about how to get on and off the bus. it only makes sense, after all, that those people exiting the bus should exit first. then the people waiting to board, should board. am i the only one who sees the logic in this sequence? now, let me be fair. about 80% of Tech students also understand this concept. for the other 20%, i suppose i will need to dumb it down in order to help you see the light. let me use an analogy. my cooler of beer is running low. in fact, i only have one beer left inside, but thanks to my foresight, i have more in the trunk of my car. now i want that last frosty beer, but i decide to dump all these warm ones on top of it first. why? because i'm a dumb Tech student. now, i have to dig through all the disgustingly hot bottles to get to the one yummy one at the bottom. wouldn't it have been easier to get the cold one out first? if you still cannot see why people wanting off the bus should exit before more people cram in, you need to go stick your head in the oven. (and don't forget to turn it on...) because of the cold weather this morning, the buses were more crammed than usual. as i go to exit on my stop, about 20 Mensa members are clamoring to get on. each one sees that there is virtually no room and that about 20 of us are trying to exit, but they continue to squirm and struggle for space. i began to open my mouth and shout, 'can you fuckers wait outside and let us exit the fucking bus before you assholes try to get your fat asses to fit into spaces that don't fucking exist?!?!?!' for some reason, however, i just took a long swig of coffee and gave them the evil eye. as i walked to class, i wondered what made me bite my tongue. there is only a small probability i knew any of those morons, and if i did, i've probably been meaning to yell at them recently anyway. i'm chalking it up to the lack of sleep, the arctic weather, and the utter futility of it all.

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