Tuesday, April 22, 2008

life lesson #1

i am having the worst bout of insomnia that has ever existed in all of mankind. it's 5:30AM, and i haven't slept a wink. i finally just said a big ol' "fuck it" and got up to blog. (my neighbors must think i'm a total freak because i'm always up in the middle of the night, and i come and go at odd hours. but they're the ones with the cat food problem. i'll save that story for another time.) so i've decided to start a series of posts on a few life lessons that i've learned:

when i was a wee lass still living at home, i had this Boyfriend. we were pretty serious (for a couple of kids.) but i still hung out with my own friends a lot while he worked or whatever. one day, i'm hanging out with my Friend-o. he's driving, and we go pick up this Creepy Dude i'd never met before in my life. turns out Friend-o needs something from the store so he leaves me and Creepy Dude in the car while he goes inside. now, Creepy Dude and i have some natural chemistry, but he's a total skeez. i know he'll be a lifer in prison before i graduate from high school. i can tell. plus, i have a boyfriend, and i'm very faithful. anyway, me and Creepy Dude just talk and laugh until Friend-o comes back to the car.

sometime after this innocent little outing, i'm talking to Boyfriend on the phone when my other line rings. it's Friend-o. here's our conversation:

"you and Creepy Dude made out?!"

"we did not!"

"he said you guys did. when i was in the store. he said you guys made out."

"what an asshole! if i ever see him again, i'm going to kick him in the nuts! we didn't do shit."

"i can't believe you made out with him!"

"i didn't! fuck you! i swear."

okay, so that's about how it went for a few minutes. then i clicked back over to Boyfriend who immediately says, in a weird monotone voice, "who's this guy you made out with?"

wtf?!?! i am Bambi about to get smooshed. i try to play innocent, but he tells me he heard the whole conversation. after a few minutes of persuasion, i think he believes me, but this incident brings me to life lesson #1. never trust call waiting.

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