summer is nearing

i love summer. it's the absolute best season. i really like it because i'm always cold, and i enjoy the scorching heat. but i'm ill prepared. mainly it's my glaringly white legs. they look like uncooked pasta. lovely, i know. so i'm thinking of going to get one of those spray on tans. only i don't want to end up like Ross on Friends so i need to make sure i do it right. i can't go and lie in one of those tanning beds because i have a weird phobia of UV rays. that and i burn very easily. ten minutes in that thing, and i'll be toast. of course, i could use a lotion at home. one of those that causes you to tan naturally over a couple of days. i've never used any of these methods which is why i usually walk around like a pasty, Marilyn Manson groupie, but i don't want to do that this year. this year it's a whole new me, and i need a whole new tan look. i'd post before and after pics if i didn't think my white legs would wash out the before photograph.