my true talent

has always been my bluntness. i do, however, make exceptions out of respect for my elders, to keep my job, and sometimes out of pity. but no more. those days are done. from now on, i will just allow any thought to come spewing out of my mouth. why? because people aren't worth it. if poor schmucks are dying thanks to mobs of shoppers, teenagers are being chained against their wills, and Kim Kardassssssian's desire to wear clothes is a headline, then why the hell do i care what you assholes think?

so today, upon return to work from a stomach flu, i offered someone details about my illness. i don't think someone has changed their mind so fast about talking to me in their life! the other day i told a customer that a store will not replace her toaster forever when it keeps breaking thanks to something called an expired warranty and the same goes for the products that my company sells. what a liberating conversation that was! and i have been helping my sister talk to her relatives and friends because i don't mind helping others with bluntness either. i can dish it and then you can pass it along.

so there. i'm done with any iota of censoring. i hope shoppers are ready for me when i hit the stores this weekend.