potential New Year's resolutions

i know i still have a month before i am socially obligated to try to better myself, but i figured i'd kick around a few ideas before i decide on anything. here's what i'm considering so far:

1. i know most Americans vow to lose weight, and while most of those couch potatoes do actually need to get off of their gargantuan bums and shed some tons, i do not. i could stand to lose a little and perhaps tone up so i may resolve to attend the gym more often.

2. i really need to take the time to send out work and get it published. the process can be very time consuming and, honestly, tedious. i am tentatively resolving to get 3 works published in the coming year even if i have to resort to submitting letters to Playboy.

3. as some of you may know, i've been contemplating the single life. if i decide on ditching my bitter half, i resolve to become a big ol' whore. i'm sure that's not really considered 'bettering' myself, but i will need something to work on for 2007. call it planning ahead. besides, i'm justifying my future behavior with a new study linking creativity with promiscuity. it's a gift and a curse to be so absolutely ingenious, but what can you do?

4. perhaps i'll take up yoga or some other trendy stress releasing pastime. or, maybe i'll just start another blog. who am i kidding? i apparently can't even post regularly on this one. i think bonsai sculpting is supposed to be relaxing...