Friday, August 21, 2009

new career

okay, so i think i found my calling. you've heard of a life coach, right? they are people who help you decide what your purpose in life is supposed to be and then give you guidance and direction so you can fulfill that purpose. well i'm going to be the opposite of that. i'm going to tell you exactly what i think of you and why you're life sucks. does anyone want me to practice on them?

you're probably wondering why anyone would want to pay for these services, but let me tell you. people are DUMB. they bitch and moan about how awful their lives are but they don't do anything to fix it. it's like they're clueless that their stupid decisions are what's making them miserable.

so you're breaking your back and raising fifty kids while your husband sits on his huge ass watching porn all day, that's your fucking fault. you're on your eighth divorce and can't figure out why none of them last when you marry them after knowing them for only two seconds. guess what? that's your own damn fault/ too. you're a broke bastard who can't maintain a single relationship because the only thing you can actually stick with is your alcoholism. well, duh. you're lonely and pathetic because you're an idiot who needs to grow up.

see? my services are needed. sure some people need that loving prod that a life coach can provide, but some of you jack asses need a fucking kick in the teeth already.

so there. any takers?


Blogger Michael said...

I'll decline, but thanks for the offer.

8/22/2009 11:36:00 AM  
Anonymous Teeny said...

I'm one of those people you're talking about. I want your advice. Give it to me straight.

8/23/2009 08:13:00 PM  
Blogger christine said...

Michael- well if you change your mind, you know how to reach me.

Teeny- man, i didn't think anyone would have the balls to take me up on it! (well except for my "sister" since she does have the actual testes...) Next time I see you, I'll let you have it.

8/24/2009 09:37:00 AM  
Anonymous Teeny said...

I look forward to it. I welcome any and all advice.

8/24/2009 06:39:00 PM  

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