Tuesday, August 28, 2007

the dating scene

looks like i'm going to be single soon so i've taken the initiative and signed up at one of those online dating service things. i only signed up to take a looksy and see what was out there, but i've already got a ton of responses. (i can't reply back yet because i haven't signed up for the actual membership. i'm only on the freebie.) anyway, i'm not sure i'm ready for all of this crap! maybe i should be more traditional and try to meet people out and about town, but i can't really remember where i met people before Bitter Half. (i guess he's not my half anymore so i'm going to just call him Bitter Ass...) so i don't know what to do. i hated dating before, and i'm sure i'll hate it now. do they have mail order grooms? maybe i'll look into that.

Wednesday, August 22, 2007

TV watchin' fool

my life is in ridiculous shambles so i've become a zombie-like TV watcher. i'll pretty much watch anything to avoid doing anything productive. so here are some reviews:

Flipping Out- i think this show is on Bravo. it's about a really obsessive-compulsive douche bag who pays employees to do pointless stuff like stocking his pantry with food while making sure all the labels are facing forward, taking his cat to get acupuncture, and performing seances and shit. i'm not sure why this show is worth watching except for the main character's lips. they're oddly mesmerizing.

The Power of Ten- i watched this show for about .2 seconds. it's a pointless game show about pointless facts such as: 41% of American women prefer chocolate over sex. it's entertaining, but i prefer intellectually stimulating game shows. that and the host, Drew Carey, wears glasses that are practically impossible to stomach for the duration of the show.

The Pick-up Artist- on this one, a guy proclaims to be the ultimate pick up artist. it's a crock. if i saw him, i'd run screaming the other way. he wears more eyeliner than i do, and that's no small feat, my friend.

Meerkat Manor- this Animal Planet show follows a bunch of critters forever apparently. they remind me of weasels so i proclaim this one a winner.

Design on a Dime- if you like your house to look like you picked a bunch of stuff out of the town dump and then hot glued beads to it, this show's for you.

Rachel Ray- i don't know if the title of the show is actually Rachel Ray or what, but i can't watch this show. is it me or is Rachel Ray a munchkin from the Wizard of Oz? and i think her audience rotates. either that or someone slipped some acid in my McDonald's buffalo sauce.

Top Chef- i love this show! i'm not sure why, but people who can cook fascinate me. probably because my version of gourmet involves macaroni cooked on a stove rather than the microwave. that and pepper from the pepper mill.

Passions- this is the most ridiculous soap ever created, and i've only watched it because i'm sometimes too catatonic to change the channel after Days. apparently, in this soap world, people can run around a prison when a lethal injection is taking place, and there are electric chairs sitting around for people to try out on their enemies. super!

Wednesday, August 01, 2007

writer's idiosynchrasy

if you're a writer, you know that there are rituals and rites unique to each person in order to make something coherent burst forth. some people have to sit in the same chair, drink a certain beverage, wear a lucky hat, or what have you. it's because writers are a bunch of pretentious, obsessive compulsive yahoos. the lot of them. so that's why i haven't been blogging. my desktop computer is ailing, and i can't work under those conditions! it's like the entire train has been derailed and the passengers are all on fire and flailing about. i'll work on the problem this weekend if i'm not too hungover, dead, or in the clink.
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