Monday, December 31, 2007

looking forward

i guess now is as good a time as any to post my New Year's resolutions. so here are the things i will resolve to half-heartedly attempt until about three months into the year when i will flop down on the sofa and admit to failure in order to watch Law & Order marathons.

- travel! so far on the agenda is a trip to Madrid and New York with a possible trip to Utah and Vegas. Utah sounds too cold, and the next time i go to Vegas i will need a date because i want to stay at the romantical Venetian and see the Phantom of the Opera. (yes, i just made up a word.)

- volunteer. even a selfish bitch like me can give back to the community. i've had volunteering on my mind for a few years but didn't have time with school. now that i've graduated, i have plenty of time. i'm eyeballing the local literacy group.

- cooking more. i've actually realized that i enjoy cooking! i don't make anything fancy schmancy or even from scratch, but seeing as how my previous version of cooking involved peeling back the cellophane and nuking for four minutes, actually using the stove is gourmet. i hope to try more things and learn the basics.

- write. this one is hard to accomplish sometimes because it's so easy to put it off or forget to do it. i am committed to making it work this year.

- i know a few years ago, i wrote that if i was ever single i'd resolve to be a big ol' slut, and i just may stick to it. i don't want a relationship really. just good old fashioned fun.

- less thinking. i think part of my problem is that i think to much. damn! there i go again. this is harder than it sounds. i plan to be more spontaneous. and less focused on the past and people who just bring me down.

- keep going to the gym. i'm not dieting or planning to lose weight or anything cliche like that. i've been good about going to the gym now that i'm not tired all the time from school, and i just plan to keep it up. at first, the gym will be packed with wide eyed delusionals who think they will keep it up all year so i will need to get there early to get into my classes, but once they fall back into their regular slothful habits, i will be able to be more lax, too.

well that's about it for now. nothing too big or hard. i hope you guys all have a great New Year.

Sunday, December 30, 2007

does this make me weird?

i couldn't sleep last night, and the Cartoon Network was showing a Futurama marathon so i tuned in. on one episode, Fry was eating a sammich. i thought to myself, 'mmm. that sammich looks dee-lish.' then i realized i was getting hungry over a cartoon food item.

Saturday, December 29, 2007


weasel #2 has been sick for years with a typical weasel ailment. there's nothing that can be done for her. one of the symptoms is the loss of use of her hind legs which have progressively gotten worse over the years. here lately, she has times when they are completely useless. i have been caring for her, but really she's old for a weasel. it may be time to think about putting her down. just thinking about it makes me really sad, but i don't want her to suffer either. she's so tiny and cute. *sigh*

Friday, December 28, 2007

my bad

for a few days there, i thought the writer's strike applied to me, but alas it doesn't so here i am again.

my sister and i conned Tangerine Dream into buying the new Bourne movie and then lending it to us. he actually thinks he's getting it back. he's delusional in his old age. we'll have it worn out with repeated viewings and constant freeze framing of Matt Damon by next week.

Gold Digger's baby still hasn't come, and he's the size of a twelve year old now. his tentative birthday will be January 4th unless my sister's uterus finally decides to expel him on its own. highly unlikely, however. i mean, who wants to come into this crappy world when he's got it made in her belly?

i swear to God that i have a disease. i keep eating and eating like a freakin' football player, and i keep losing weight. my pants would not stay up today, and i almost had to buy suspenders.

i'm hard on socks because i work out so much so i'm trying these No Nonsense Hanes kind with some type of wick away breathable fabric. they're inexpensive and were recommended to me. i'll let you know how well they hold up after another week or so.

this post sucks booty. i'm exhausted from a hard day's work and can't think straight. i'm going to turn in.

Monday, December 24, 2007


- i rescued a squirrel. a cat had it dangling from its mouth. i thought it was dead, but then i saw him looking around. i stomped over and made the cat release it. i'm not sure why. the cat needed to eat, i'm sure. but i felt bad with a giant animal picking on a little one. i guess Squirrly was wounded cause he couldn't run well. he tried to scamper up a tree but the cat kept catching him so i chased the cat away. i had to go though. unlike the nature channel, i couldn't fast forward, and i needed a Wendy's baked potato. when i left, the cat was stalking the squirrel in the tree. so i'm sure the cat ended up eating it. in reality, then, i didn't rescue a squirrel. i dragged out it's violent death.

- if you're dumb enough to temporarily abandon your shopping cart and it's two days before Christmas so shopping carts are worth their weight in gold, then you deserve two women laughing in your face as they wheel it away. we don't feel bad. we feel smart.

- i'm having trouble censoring myself. i'm generally a very blunt person as it is, but here lately, i've got no self control. i almost punched a guy in the throat earlier because i couldn't stand his ugly face. i hope i'm not in the clink for the holidays.

Friday, December 21, 2007

tis the season to be eating

i'm pretty sure that my company is trying to make me fat. every day i find brownies, cake, popcorn, candy, soft drinks, pizza, sammiches, ham, etc being shoved down my throat. so today i was craving something since i've become so used to this smorgasbord. i waddled down the hallway and found a popcorn tin. i grabbed some cheesy popcorn and then rolled myself down the hall to the other break room looking for cake. then i oozed back to my Dilbert cubicle to snack on some mini M&Ms and Nerds. now i have a mouthful of about thirty pieces of gum. i know i usually exaggerate a teeny bit, but today i speak the truth. it's barely 2 PM so i still have to find some snacks to keep me busy for the rest of the day.

Thursday, December 20, 2007

it's beginning to look a lot like Christmas...

i got my first Christmas present! it came courtesy of one of the men in my life. we women love presents and surprises, and this one was both. i'm expecting a lot since the guys came out of the woodwork when they heard i was single. this coming year is going to be fun!

Tuesday, December 18, 2007

my Dumpsters shrunk.

either that or i became a giant over night. as i was taking out the garbage in the wee hours this morning, i reached up to hurl my bag into the Dumpster like i usually do only to discover that i was towering over the thing. i always hated having to use all my muscles to heave my unbelievably heavy garbage into a container that was fifteen feet tall. now i don't have to! yay for me.

Monday, December 17, 2007

that can't be good.

when someone replies to you with a 'What is wrong with you?!' email. in my defense, nothing is wrong with me. i was just fooling about. so here's the story. i sent my sister an email with some baby name suggestions. keep in mind that the baby is a boy and that she normally gravitates toward classic names. here's what i suggested:


these types of suggestions are what happens when you're bored at work and have nothing better to do that make your families lives miserable via electronic communication.

Sunday, December 16, 2007


i think i'm going to start selling stuff on ebay. b.a. left a bunch of stuff behind, and he said a few weeks ago that he'd come get it. but he has not called or come by. when i talked to him, he said he'd pick it up that weekend, but again he was a no call no show. so i'm assuming he doesn't want it. i'd donate it all to charity, but he left me with a lot of debt (what a swell guy, right?) so i figure i'd sell it and see how much i can make off of it. most of it is probably as worthless as our relationship was, but something is better than nothing. i guess i will wait a little longer to see if he claims any of it since i'm such a nice person.

Saturday, December 15, 2007

Matt Damon night (or yummy!)

i have been looking forward to tonight for quite some time. i will be spending the evening watching the new Bourne movie as well as Ocean's 13. what are the chances that Damon is shirtless throughout both movies? either way, i can't wait. there will be snacks, too. so it's yummy in both senses of the word.

Monday, December 10, 2007

great weekend

i didn't get everything accomplished that i had wanted, but i did have tons of fun and got lots of rest.

-i never got a note on my door that my Dell monitor was shipped so i tracked the package, and sure enough it was left at my apartment office. when i went down to get it, i realized why no one took it up to my door. from the size of the damn box, you'd think i ordered a freaking mainframe. when i got around to unpacking it, i realized why the box was so big. Dell sent me an extra wide one. just picture a full length dressing mirror on its side. i'm going to try it out to see how i like it.

-i won an XM satellite radio for my car. we played the Price is Right at my office Christmas party, and every year the company gives away a lot of nice items. i fared well, but i'm not sure if i will keep it. i don't spend too much time in my car. i'm going to decide if i want it or if i need to exchange it for something else. i can't really think of anything that i want right now, though. any suggestions?

-i had a coupon for buy one get one free at Bath and Bodyworks. Tangerine Dream was going to buy a candle (because he's testing the boundaries of his masculinity) so i just got the free item. there's nothing better than shopping and not having to spend money.

Friday, December 07, 2007

change of heart

i know that yesterday i said i was going go give b.a. some time to decide if he was happy with the choices he has made, but upon a lot of reflection, i have decided not to do that. i have decided that i am ready to be single, and i am pressing forward as quickly as possible. i do think that he will regret some of his decisions and behaviors, but he is no longer my concern. i tried my best, and although i've also made mistakes, i'm only human. unfortunately, all of this mess is going to cost us our friendship, and we have been friends for as long as i can remember- since we were kids. but the truth of the matter is that someone who does not respect me and take care of me is not the person with whom i wish to spend the rest of my life.

Wednesday, December 05, 2007

good news

-after numerous calls to Dell, they are finally replacing my monitor. the lady said i would have it by tomorrow or Friday at the latest. that means i'll hopefully be back to my old blogging self soon.

-my little Simon is going great! he's healing nicely, and i got him and Macaroni a new hammock at the pet store today. i even splurged on the fleece lined one since their fur is thin in their old age.

-i will officially be single soon. i can let go with a clear conscience because i gave it my all unlike b.a. who has not allowed our relationship to end before beginning another. like someone told me:

I think he's making a clouded decision because he's already involved with someone else. If he had taken time to think things through, things may have been different. I really don't think there is any way he can be honest with himself while taking on another relationship at the same time.

i only wish him the best, but i do think he will regret his choices one day. i am going to give him a little more time to make sure he's doing what he thinks is best for him, but then it's single city for me.

-i have decided on a new hairdo, and i plan on getting it done by this weekend since i have lots of plans. it's a new look for me, and i'm hoping i like it. with my new computer monitor, i will definitely post pictures.

-i almost got up early twice this week to go to the gym before work. i set the alarm, and when it went off, i thought for several minutes about going. that's as close as i've come yet! maybe one of these days, i'll actually do it.

-that new Coen flick i've been dying to see is actually opening at a nice theater here in Lubbsuck. i'm going to see it this weekend.

Monday, December 03, 2007

my poor, poor weasel

he got hurt over the weekend, and he was so scared. i was, too. he was bleeding all over the place, and he's so tiny that he doesn't have much blood to begin with. the two critters are so sheltered, they've never really seen blood. they stared at it and sniffed it for a long time. it was kind of cute to watch. anyhow, i cleaned his wound and applied antibiotic. of course, he got a treat, too. i almost took a picture of the morbid scene. but i was too sad to look for batteries for the digicam. just picture a pool of blood and two curious weasels.
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