Tuesday, July 28, 2009

conversation of the day

this took place with Tangerine dream. (by the way, yesterday he made all his employees start calling him Maestro...)

me: i had a dream you had to go into some witness protection type deal.

T.D.: really? did i get a whole new life? new family?

me: i guess. it was kind of sad because we knew we would never see you again.

T.D.: did i change my name to Maestro?

me: i don't know what your dumbass name was.

T.D.: ugh! i hope the dream comes true. i want new friendlier siblings. mines suck!

me: fuck you!

T.D.: see?!

Tuesday, July 21, 2009

5 things you may not have known about Christine

(and if you do know these, it may be because you know me sickeningly well or that i am senile and have posted these before)

1. i am scared of those little tree pod things. i have no idea what they're called, and you'd think that i, being a writer of magnificent talents, would be able to describe them better. but they're brown and long and a little curvy. they have seeds of death in them. i'd take a pic, but i'm too afraid of them to get near them. i know they are everywhere that trees hang out. at least here in Lubbock. i'm pretty sure they're alien in origin.

2. i'm creepy good at math. i guess i get it from ol' Dad. i passed my stats classes in college with literally perfect averages and that was with me sleeping through most of those classes as i hate math with a passion. i guess it's a good thing that i have this talent, but i prefer to not do any calculations at all...ever. i would rather stare at a blank wall. in fact, i find staring at blank walls rather enjoyable. (and, no, i'm not on a perpetual acid trip.)

3. i love me some Air Supply. if i hear it on at a store or in the car, you can bet gold coins that i am going to start belting out every lyric because i know them all from memory. i'm a sap for mushy music. (by the way, if you're betting gold coins, i'm assuming you're a Leprechaun, a doomsday-ologist, or a regular at Yoville.)

4. my taste in things changes virtually over night. i used to drink Dr. Pepper exclusively. but one day i woke up and hated it. same with tequila and sevens. and cheese cake only i like it now whereas before i hated it. i guess everything has it's day in court, and when it's over, it's over.

5. i love to write letters. i can write them all the live long day. of course, i type them now as i can type much faster than i can write, but it's the same damn thing, you hair splitters. anyway, i find letter writing is a lost art that should be resurrected. in fact, i think if people shut their trap every once in a while and actually thought things through for a change before communicating their stupidity, the world would be a better place.

Friday, July 17, 2009

conversation of the day #2

Gold Digger: um, there is a black man walking down the street wearing a cloak and holding a staff.

me: is it Death?...is it a sickle?

G.D.: no, more like a sheep herder.

me: oh. BORING!

G.D.: and his cloak is more like a colorful rug.

me: maybe Death is gay...

G.D.: i would believe that.

conversation of the day

this took place after i was bitching to my sister about how bored i was. (yes, i bitch when i'm busy at work, and then i bitch when i'm slow at work. i'm the Goldilocks of bitching.)

me: i should start pranking people. (offering a suggestion) Pat? Pat McGroin?

Gold Digger: that cracks me up!

me: me too. guess i never grew up.

G.D.: i grew up in the areas where it counts.

me: i guess i kinda did, too.

G.D.: i wasn't talking about boobs.

me: oh. my bad.

Wednesday, July 15, 2009


hmmmm. so i have been doing a lot of thinking this year, and i am on the cusp of something life changing. but i'm still not a hundred percent sure on whether or not to go ahead with it for several reasons.

1. i am my father's daughter. that means i'm super cautious, not spontaneous, and very wary. i wouldn't have it any other way. the paternal unit is amazing.

2. the economy is a problem. these life changing steps could mean a financial crunch for me, and with the economy limping around its own death bed, i don't know that right now is the best time to be making such changes. but, if not now, then when?

3. what about other avenues? i guess i have several life changing options in my giant brain, and i can't decide which one is the best. i think i have finally settled on one, and then i start re-thinking another one. i'm half tempted to just fashion some time of primitive dart board apparatus and let chance pick and choose my future.

4. what's wrong with the life i'm leading? well, where do i freakin' start? just kidding. i have a great life full of friends and family, but that doesn't mean it can't be better. but i sure don't want to look back and regret rocking the boat.

so that leaves me nowhere really. but i should, hopefully, be making some kind of decision by the time my next birthday rolls around, and i will post the anti-climactic results then. if you feel that you are wise for whatever reasons, then feel free to shoot me an email or a text or leave me a comment with your thoughts. i can't promise to take you jokers seriously, but i could surprise you.

Tuesday, July 07, 2009

very interesting

when people search for 'why do i attract weirdos?' it brings 'em right to my blog. that can't be good.

i've still been MIA because i've been super busy with work, but i'm taking a tiny breather today to blog a bit. i'm looking forward to a mini vacay that i'm taking in August. it's time to relax in Albuquerque. haven't been there in a few years so i'm ready to look at some Indians and eat some chilis.

i am covered in mosquito bites. i even have one on my ass. i'm not really sure how it got there as i don't remember sticking my ass in a mosquito's face, but alas, i must have at some point. i hope when i contract West Nile that they don't have to inspect the bite locations.

i ran out of checks. i never, ever write checks. the only thing i use them for is to pay my rent. for some reason i thought i had another book. so now, my rent is late, and i have to drag my mosquito bitten ass to the bank on my lunch for some temps. i hope i don't have to unleash my rage on a teller. i am not in the mood to deal with this crap.

i started to blog because, for once, it was slow at work. as soon as i start, it gets super busy. so this post probably sux and/or doesn't make sense. much like all the other posts i've ever written...
back to top (you lazy bastard)