dumb ass Microsoft

did anyone see this article where Microsoft edited the black man out of this pic? i'm too lazy to link the article. i barely exerted the effort to upload the pic. what i think is more offensive than the fact that the black man was replaced with a white man is the fact that the black man looked perfectly respectable and the white man looks like the biggest douche on the planet. oh, and no one bothered to edit the hand so the douche still has a black one. way to go, Microsoft!

new career

okay, so i think i found my calling. you've heard of a life coach, right? they are people who help you decide what your purpose in life is supposed to be and then give you guidance and direction so you can fulfill that purpose. well i'm going to be the opposite of that. i'm going to tell you exactly what i think of you and why you're life sucks. does anyone want me to practice on them?

you're probably wondering why anyone would want to pay for these services, but let me tell you. people are DUMB. they bitch and moan about how awful their lives are but they don't do anything to fix it. it's like they're clueless that their stupid decisions are what's making them miserable.

so you're breaking your back and raising fifty kids while your husband sits on his huge ass watching porn all day, that's your fucking fault. you're on your eighth divorce and can't figure out why none of them last when you marry them after knowing them for only two seconds. guess what? that's your own damn fault/ too. you're a broke bastard who can't maintain a single relationship because the only thing you can actually stick with is your alcoholism. well, duh. you're lonely and pathetic because you're an idiot who needs to grow up.

see? my services are needed. sure some people need that loving prod that a life coach can provide, but some of you jack asses need a fucking kick in the teeth already.

so there. any takers?

buncha nothing

-twice this week, i have accidentally kicked over my computer tower whilst using it like a foot stool. both times it died. now it's making a loud whirring sound mixed with a high pitched whine. any techie people out there know what's wrong with it? well i mean besides the fact that i keep beating the crap out of it.

-speaking of techie shit, my Pre-tty keyboard quit working last night. i started hyperventilating and seeing stars because i really don't know how to communicate anymore without text messaging. i've devolved to a higher functioning amoeba. anyway, i ended up doing a hard re-set on it, and it's working again. whew!

-sometimes when i have a lot on my mind, i like to drive around and listen to music. last night was one of those times. i drove down tons of busy streets for 45 minutes, and i didn't get a single red light that ENTIRE time. you'd think that's a good thing, but as i mentioned earlier, i need to text...a lot. so i need stops. what are the odds that during 45 min of driving, you get no fucking stops at all? that's just a microcosm for my life.

EEEEEEEEK!!!

so someone told me to blog already. well, excuse me, a-hole, but some of us have jobs where we actually work rather than just sit and browse Craigslist ads all fucking day long!!! anyway, here's a Chrissy-skin rug to keep you entertained...

EEEEEEEEK!!!!

random crap

-i had a doc appt today with my neuro specialist. i get worked up when i go in there because at any second he could order me down to the lab to have blood drawn. if you're a regular reader, you know that me and and giving blood means a really pathetic scenario full of panic attacks and flailing body parts.

-i'm reading The Catcher in the Rye again. when i read it the first time, i didn't really relate to the main character. my life was all on track, and i was pretty happy. but here lately i've felt lost and not sure about where my path lies. my sis was talking about reading it so i dug up my copy. i'm relating much more this time so i'm enjoying it much more, too.

-Honda got new tires finally! and he got a detail. he's so happy. he tells me everyday. plus, he just passed 30, 000 miles. he's been hinting that he wants to take a road trip.

-i've been battling a really bad case of nausea for about a month. i've lost like fifteen pounds. i'm pretty sure the root of the stomach problems is this stupid town. it's ugly, it stinks, and it's still freakin' dry. i'm going to end up keeling over from old age before i can walk down the street to pick up a beer.