damn it all to hell

i'm not going to get the script done in time, but it's not my fault. a vicious spider decided to "feast on me," as my sister put it, and damn near sent me to the hospital! who can write under such conditions? i had an allergic reaction which made my foot swell up to roughly the size of a small elephant's. after it didn't get better, Bitter Half made me see my doctor. good thing, too, because apparently it was more cause for alarm than i had realized. my physician said if it got any worse he was checking me into the hospital ASAP, and then he sent me home with three presription meds (none of which were the good kind.) plus i got two shots while i was there. needless to say, i was just a little bummed. B.H. was out of town so i crashed at my mom's for the day yesterday. nothing like a little babying to set things straight because my foot looks a little better today. hopefully it will continue to get better because i am in no mood to be in a hospital. and as my brother graciously reminded me, it's the same damn foot that had the toes broken whilst on a trip to Vegas. how much more can a foot take?!?!

catching up

i know i said i'd start posting more regularly, and in all honesty, i thought i had until i just realized it's been almost a week. yikes. so what have i been up to? let's see, i bought some wasabi peas the other day. if you like wasabi, they are addictive. i ate the whole bag in about two seconds. (i just strapped it on like a feedbag and went to town.) also, i've been shirking my screenplay in order to read. i knew better than to start another book after i finished Franny and Zooey, but i did it anyway. and my screenplay has suffered for it! the last day for the script frenzy is Saturday. good thing i'm off of work on that day. i had taken off to go shopping and binge drinking in Dallas, but my douche bag brother bailed at the last sec. Bitter Half is still going, but since he will be busy winning a disc golf tournament, i decided to stay in Lubsuck and be a lazy, pathetic, screenwriting, book reading, TV watching bum.

this cracked me up more than it prob should have

it's only 5 seconds so take a gander.

bzzzz

some mutant mosquito or something bit me on my back the other day. i have three huge bites that itch like a mo fo. they're so freakin' big that, if there were two instead of three, i'd wear a bra backwards.

summer reading

you'd think that after reading 17 books in four months last semester, i'd be burned out, but i'm a reader at heart. i can't help it. so i decided to make a summer reading list. for some reason i always have a feeling that i'm not well read in the classics so i started to browse Amazon's classic section. to my surprise, i've read a considerable amount of them so i guess i'm not the illiterate buffoon that i thought i was. anyhow, after the strenuous Spring semester, i thought i'd choose some easier tomes and mix it up a little. so here's what i'm reading. (it's on my sidebar, too.)

Special Topics in Calamity Physics by Marisha Pessl (not a classic but something the English dep't at Tech recommended as the topic of discussion at the end of this month)

Franny and Zooey by J.D. Salinger (i'm not one of those die hard Salinger fans, but the last time i read Catcher in the Rye, i was a whole different person. so i'm giving him a day in court.)

The Woman in White by Wilkie Collins (why i'd pick a Victorian novel is beyond me. maybe i was under the influence.)

One Hundred Years of Solitude by Gabriel Garcia Marquez (one i've been meaning to read for quite some time)

The Audacity of Hope by Barack Obama (i like to stay up on my politics, but seeing as how fifty billion people are vying for the presidency, i'm only focusing on the ones i think have a shot in hell.)

i've already read the first title on my list and am well into Salinger's. most of these are over 500 pages so i have my work cut out for me. i promise i'll be better about posting though. i know i've been sporadic as of late.

caught in the act

Bitter Half does all the grocery shopping because, honestly, i'm not very domestic. so i asked him to buy me some Rockstars so i can quit spending fifty dollars a week at the convenience store. he did along with some Red Bulls for him. i like Red Bulls, but i prefer the much less caloric zero-carb Rockstars. they are also a lot more energizing so i only drink one a day (usually around 1:30 when i'm running on empty.) this morning, i wanted something that wasn't so powerful and immediately eyeballed the little four pack of Red Bulls next to about thirty Rockstars. i grabbed one and figured that Bitter Half, who often dons the absent minded professor hat, would assume he drank it. then today as i'm talking to him on the phone, he looks in the fridge and yells, 'did you drink one of my Red Bulls? after i bought you, like, fifty Rockstars?' i guess he's more astute than i had originally thought. so i confessed. it was me. i did it. now, just to be mean, i'm going to individually label all my Rockstars so he won't drink them.

hate this town

today, as i was headed to the gym, i noticed water hitting my windshield. it wasn't raining so, naturally, i peered around to investigate. to my right and a full car length ahead of me was a VW beetle who was cleaning its own windshield with super powerful jets of water. it looked like the freakin' Fountains at Bellagio. (speaking of the Bellagio, i have my semi-annual Vegas itch. i was plumb about to drop work, responsibilites, hell, even Bitter Half and catch a flight over there this past weekend to do some boozing and shopping. but then i remembered i had promised my sister i'd take her out for her birthday on Monday. being the phenomenal sibling that i am, i had to stay true to my word. i'm calling my travel agent soon!)

bleeding ears

i don't usually listen to Lubbock radio because it's very sacchrine and Clear Channel, but i occassionaly turn it on and transform into a horrified spectator of American society. well i've heard several songs by this douche bag, Akon, and he sounds like a mix between Mike Tyson, Michael Jackson, and Mickey Mouse. i was curious to see what he looked like so i checked out some vids. i saw the notorious one of him simulating sexual acts with a fourteen year old on stage. it was really disgusting, and i bet ol' Ed Sullivan was rolling over in his grave and trying to kill himself even though he's already dead. now, i'm no prude, but it was pretty unnecessary. what happened to singers just getting blitzed, forgetting their own lyrics, and falling into the audience face first?

RIP

there's a dead bird on the sidewalk at work. it flew into the mirrored window at a literally bone crushing speed. the thing is that's it's been there for several days. we employees just walk by it day in and day out without doing anything about it. it's beginning to fester. and it's no little sparrow, mind you. it's a big, fat pigeon or something. i was going to put a little note on it that reads "i'm disgusting. someone pick me up already." but it was raining, and i didn't think my note would survive. if it's still there Tuesday, i'm definitely sticking a note on it.

pet peeves

it's been a while since i've listed some of the things that bother me so here you go.

-celebrities making national headlines for either being stupid, acting normal for their age, getting dumped, getting arrested, finding religion, etc. who the hell cares?! i know i don't. who cares if Lindsey Lohan is a coked up whore? weren't we all at her age? and Britney started clubbing when her divorce went though? how shocking, right? the few brain cells that Texas Tech didn't kill off die every time i see the damn news.

-cereal prices going up. that should be against the law. i mean it's delicious, nutritious, and should be a staple in every American diet. maybe then we wouldn't be such fat, disgusting, lazy excuses of citizens, and this world would be a better place. that's right! i said it. high priced cereal is the direct cause of American decline.

-TV summer hiatuses. i finally have time to be a vegetable, and there's nothing to watch. i've resorted to watching Animal Planet's Most Extreme. did you know that there's a disgusting bug that creates a nest by blowing gelatinous bubbles out its butt? and that the banana slug will essentially super glue a predator's mouth shut with its bodily ooze? aren't we better people now for knowing?

-women with voices like men. i just talked to someone at work who introduced herself using a woman's name. that didn't stop me from calling her sir.

-yellow teeth. good thing i have an appointment on Monday to discuss teeth whitening with my dentist. i can't wait!

Script Frenzy

now that all that mandatory writing is gone, i've signed up for the NaNoWriMo Script Frenzy project. (yes, i'm a sucker for torture.) like the novel writing month of November, this one is a script writing month. i've started late since i've been down in the dumps due to some family issues, but it's shorter than a novel. i do need to learn about script formatting, though. that's a little time consuming. anyhow, i'll be doing that as well as some reading. it kinda feels like i'm still in school...

news correction

recently, there's been an article about archaeologists discovering a 2,100 year old melon in Japan. that's incorrect. the melon was actually found in my fridge next to these bananas: