wha?

yesterday, a group of us Tech students were chatting about working out when one girl said she preferred to run on the treadmill than outside because "i feel like i'm getting somewhere." the rest of us stared at her like she'd sprouted horns and was doing the Satan dance. (i'm not sure what exactly the Satan dance is, but i'm assuming it involves lots of leaping and pitch fork raising.) the girl kept talking like what she said made perfect sense so one guy stopped her to say, "wha?" at the point she clarified that she likes to see how far she's run and how many calories she's burned. sometimes i wonder how things can makes such sense inside our heads only to be completely misunderstood once uttered.

i need to dye my hairs.

but i can't decide what to do with them. i need a change. i was going to make a poll with ridiculous stick figure drawings of potential hair colors, but i'm too busy. it's the thought that counts. i think i am going to dye it this weekend. maybe i'll just dip my whole head in a bowl of color and see what comes out.

neighbor theory

my neighbors are either illegal immigrants or have obsessive compulsive disorder. why would i make such brazen assumptions? because they are always taking a freakin' shower. i can hear it running all the time. if i get up at 5AM, someone is showering. if i get up at 8, same thing. in the middle of the day, shower. at night when i get home from the gym, someone is in the damn shower. so either there are fifty illegal immigrants packed into a one bedroom apartment, or someone has OCD. or maybe they just have a bad case of B.O. either way, they need to stop. it's creeping me out.

busted!

yesterday, after telling Bitter Half for the fifteen hundredth time that i needed to start working on my novel, he said, 'don't you say that every day? and then you never do.' my response? 'i know, but it kinda seems like i'm working on it if i keep talking about it, right?' of course, the only person i'm hurting with my lies is myself. that is until i am in a cold-sweat panic on the last week of class and resort to beating everyone around me. i need a club to make those beatings most effective. ebay, here i come!

Amazon is making me lazy.

yes, it's all Amazon's fault! i needed a copy of Rear Window to write a thesis paper about movie adaptations, and instead of going to Hasting's which is about .2 blocks from my house, i just ordered one on Amazon. it should be here, in my mailbox, this coming week. i hope i have the energy to walk to my mailbox to get it.

work

i am at work being bored so i decided to watch the boob tube. there is absolutely nothing on. i really don't get it. i have sixty million channels, and there is just crap. the absolute best thing i can find is a stupid Lifetime movie. it's about how a young, university student gets hazed to death. well, i guess about fifty percent of Lifetime movies follow that storyline. anyhow, this particular one stars a young Hilary Swank before she turned into a man. what? she's not really a man, you say? is she at least part rabbit? because she's got humongous front teeth.

i have a new addiction.

it's Red Bull. since i've been fighting a particularly bad bout of insomnia this week and i've been trying to stay this side of legal, i'm hitting the Bull. i'm so in love with it that i'm thinking of bathing in it tomorrow. now if i just had some Jager to put in it...

giving myself props

remember when i had to take that midterm after my friend died? and remember that i felt that i probably didn't do well? turns out, i aced it. which is weird because i barely even remember taking the exam. i was in such a fog that i was barely cognizant of my writing, and afterwards i couldn't have even told you what i had written about. even in a dazed stupor, i am a genius!!! this prof is very difficult, and he gives out few As. he even liked mine so much that he put one of my essays online as a model for other students to emulate for the next exam. i amaze myself sometimes. of course, i had friends and family praying for me that day because they knew how upset i was so i'm sure it wasn't all me. i feel as if a weight has been lifted because i was really worried that i had merely written gibberish. i also finished another book. that means i have three left, not counting Ulysses which i am going to be reading until the end of the semester. i'm doing the Snoopy dance right now.

Spring Break goal disasters

- write my 40,000 word novel- i didn't write one word.

- read three books- i read two and a half. not bad.

- go to the gym every day- i went to the gym/park several times. better than nothing.

- work- yes, i actually worked my ass off.

- catch up on my rest, my soap, and my housework- i slept late almost every day, caught up on my soap, and did a tiny bit of housework.

not bad considering a friend died and family came into town! i'm going to mark this one a success.

blog poll

iRack

too lazy to post so here's a vid.

random thoughts

- i went walking at the park the other day, and i think i met a deaf bird. i was stomping up to him in my typical, cumbersome way, and he didn't move. so i kept a comin'. (he was looking away from me.) when i got a few inches from stomping him to smithereens, he cocked his head and saw me. i've never seen a bird move so fast.

- Bitter Half is not home this weekend. i can't sleep when he's not here so i'm a zombie. (only without the rotting flesh and ragged clothing.)

- i'm wondering how i've managed to keep my job with my colorful vocabulary. i've hit the point where i only refer to coworkers as hookers, douche bags, jack offs, and fuck faces. that's what happens when you spend too much time working.

- i had a dream that one of my friends killed her boyfriend. it played out like a movie, and she did it in self defense. in typicalcinematic fashion, right as i was waking up, i got the eerie sense that she had plotted it and manipulated us all. i haven't talked to her today, but i hope i don't see her on the front page news later with a glinting knife in her hand.

- i'm going to try to start taking more pics of stuff and posting them. either i'm sick of writing and am resorting to visual mediums or i'm nostalgic and needing proof of the present. (i don't even know what that means.)

- right before i graduated high school, i quit caring about everything. i remember i wore the same shirt for about a month straight. (yes, i washed it.) at first i did it just because i liked that shirt, and i really don't care what people think. then, it got to be an experiment. i wanted to see if anyone would actually say, 'hey, try changing your clothes once in a while.' no one ever did. i'm sure they noticed though. they were probably scared to open their pie holes. now that i'm about to graduate college, i'm beyond caring again. i think i need to find a good shirt that i can ear mark as my favorite and just take the work out of getting ready in the morning. ironically, the shirt i wore in high school was a Texas Tech shirt. i don't have it anymore, or i'd use it.

- i don't know if this damn post makes sense. i think i'm just typing whatever jumbled thoughts are spilling out of my zombie mind. purple.

perfect day

i slept late, did laundry, and am now sitting at home drinking a Grolsch while spending time with my honeybunch. later i will be with family. it doesn't get better than this.

wish this show had never been cancelled

i really wish my office environment was more exciting. our meetings
don't involve enough use of the F word, in my opinion. here's an
example of whati'd like to expect come December:



p.s. yes, instead of working, i'm watching clips of Arrested Development on YouTube.

new NIN vid

here's the new NIN vid. i kind of like the voyeuristic quality of it, and the new single comes out today. the remixes come out at the first of April. anyhoo, i hope you guys enjoy it if you haven't already seen it. i'm going jogging to burn off some calories since i've been stuffing my face all weekend in a pathetic attempt to bury my grief.

p.s. the vid was supposedly debuted via USB pen drives at the London show. what a cool idea.

sad depressed guilty angry numb hurt grateful who knows

my friend passed away early Thursday morning. needless to say, i don't think i did very well on my midterm. i've been so sad these last few days, and i've cried until i couldn't cry anymore. i have had several friends die before but never a really good one like Adam. he was someone who i confided in about a lot of personal things and someone who made me laugh all the time. i find myself feeling a whole range of things. i feel sad and depressed to think that i will never see his huge smile again. i feel guilty that i hadn't hung out with him these last two semesters since i've been so busy, and i was planning on calling him up this week for Spring Break. i feel angry. not at anyone in particular. just that life sucks. and i hurt inside. i feel like my heart is breaking into a million pieces. i am grateful that i have such great memories, and i am very glad that i got to know such a beautiful person. his presence in my life was a gift that i will always remember fondly.

on a similar note, when i die, i don't want my funeral to resemble a church service in any way. no hymns or sermons, please. instead, i want my friends and family to remember the good times. play some good music that i loved. show crazy pictures. if people want to cry, that's okay, but i want a lot of laughing, too. i want it to reflect me and not be about something that i wasn't. that's for the record.

down in the dumps

i should be preparing for a pretty difficult midterm tomorrow, but a good friend of mine is in the hospital with liver failure. i can't focus on studying, and i am going to just hit the hay. perhaps i'll rise and shine early to look over my notes. if my friend pulls through the night, he will be in surgery tomorrow. hopefully, i will have good news to post tomorrow evening.

sorry

i've been such a loser about posting lately. i've been inundated with school work and regular work. i've kept my eye out for videos and such to post, but i guess i'm not the only one that sucks because i haven't found anything good online. in fact, i looked for that creepy Shrimp Temptations commercial where the husband envisions his wife as a huge shrimp, but i can't find it anywhere. it's really disturbing, and i thought my equally disturbing readers would enjoy it. but, alas, you will have to imagine it if you haven't had the pleasure of seeing it. instead, i give you a clip of Salman Rushdie reading a particularly blasphemous clip of Satanic Verses. (i'm reading it for school, and several people have asked me about it so here's a taste.) apparently, death threats and such are no hindrance to ol' Rushdie as he enjoys reading this part of the novel on a regular basis. in it, there's a character named Salman whose job it is to write down the revelations of The Prophet (Mahound) as they are revealed by the angel Gabriel (Gibreel). needless to say, things get quite out of hand.

sick of reading

i finished book number 8 today, and at first i felt a sense of accomplishment. then i realized that only means i'm halfway through this semester's reading list. it's enough to make my shoulders slumpy and my brain hurt.